This has been and
will continue to be a hot topic for not only single moms but all moms
alike. Working in corporate America this
can be tough for any mother and finding the balance does not come with trial
and error and some pains and mistakes along the way.
Personally I think
that Work-Life Balance is an illusion in terms of there is really no such
thing. Somewhere along the line, someone and something is going to suffer.
Whether it is your children, loved ones, your job or yourself.
I think it should be
call Work-Life Perspective.
I was the person that
was on top of the world at work. I was moving very quickly up the corporate
ladder. Successful at every turn. Important people knew my name. I couldn’t of
been more happy. I was on my way to getting married and life was good. Got
married, had my daughter, and my husband at the time knew how important my career
was and he was willing to do extra so that I could continue to climb the
ladder. Then…things took a turn for the worse. He had a breakdown and
eventually that led to my divorce.
Then I was left with
a small child of 2 and a career that was on the rise.
I will admit that it
was a difficult transition. I relied heavily in the beginning on my parents.
Thank God for them. I was trying to work long hours and then come home to a 2
year old. Many times my daughter would end up staying nights with my mom. But
every morning I would get up an hour early and go get her from my moms to drop
her off to daycare. I just didn’t want my mom to feel as if I was using her.
Also I missed spending time with my daughter so even the short drive to daycare
was enough for me.
Working from home
was great but I still hadn’t mastered that either. I would find myself rushing
home after work, pick her up. Making a quick dinner and sit her downstairs with
me while she entertained herself and I would be on the computer finishing up
the days work.
One day when she was
3, she threw a toy at me while I was on the computer. I was mad because I was
in the middle of working. I turned and she looked at me and said “mommy, when are
you gonna spend time wit me.” At that moment, I realized what I was doing and
then my perspective took place from that moment on.
At the present, I have
come to the realization that I am never going to get those moments back of her
being little. My job/career/work will always be there. I have been able to find
the balance/perspective that I need. I am truly thankful for the company that I
work for and the manager that I am now under. I made a decision to step down
from a management position and move more into a technical role. This allows me
more flexible, a different type of exposure corporately and I can still move up
the career chain just in a different direction.
My manager is very
understanding as she has child of her own and her husband travels a lot as
well. I have learned how to “phase my home situations” more carefully. My managers
know that I will put in the overtime (when necessary), take on new projects and
tasks, however; I will also still not let that effect my time at home with my
daughter and her needs. The key is making sure that you are never seen as “the
person with the kid(s)” at work. You still need to remain available and able to
live up to the work ethic that management expects. It will call for some nights
work late after you put your child to bed, but if you balance then those nights
will be few and far apart.
This has become very
challenging now that my ex has moved several miles away and only sees her once
a month or so. But I have a great boyfriend that will help out with her that
understands how important my career is. I also have 2 loving parents that will
also help me when I need. I am truly blessed in many ways. I also learned along
the way that it is okay to ask for the help. That I don’t have to do it alone. That I don’t have to be “supermom” all the
time.
I also had to change
my personality. I was A+ personality all the way and now I am probably an A-
personality (LOL). I found perspective and balance. I still work hard and
working up the corporate ladder, just not as quickly as before. I find time for
myself when necessary and continue to be the best mom that I can be.
It is not easy but
someone has to do it!
